I grew up loving Sports (particularly softball and basketball). Though, to this day my favorite lies with the ball on the court. I love basketball; the concept of team work, personal growth, and setting goals to achieve them. As I transitioned into late middle school and puberty set in, I was sadly awakened to the fact that people were better than me at the sports I loved so much. It was a period of growth as a budding teenager.
In middle school you see kids’ athletic ability sky rocket. Mine did, but in cheerleading and running. In basketball, I went from being a team starter to what we called, a “bench warmer.” Basically you ride the bench and cheer on your team while waiting for your coach to summon you to go in for another player. Middle school brought on my lanky, clumsy stage. Looking back at home videos, I looked like a drunk spider trying to play basketball.
As much as I would practice dribbling and shooting at home, I just couldn’t get a handle on my performance in games. I’d cheer my heart out and wait to be called in to play. The pressure I put on myself (and just lack of ability) would take over and I’d kick the ball away or make a terrible pass. I hated that feeling… Working so hard on myself and cheering for others, only to prove again and again that I still deemed the label “bench warmer.” Looking back now, I just wasn’t that good. That didn’t change my love for the game; and, I’m grateful for parents who coached me on being a team player. That sometimes meant riding the bench, cheering with your whole heart, and being ready for your opportunity when you’re called. If you didn’t meet your potential you keep trying, but never let that sway you from still cheering on others.
When high school approached, I was secretly thankful they made us pick a sport for the sake of schedules. I used that as my excuse for why I didn’t pursue basketball further.
The last year has brought back the feelings from my bench warming days. I’ve learned alot of moms feel like the sideline is their home, me included. We have aspirations in our home, careers, and community. Sometimes we are called to sit the bench as a team player (and often cheering section) for our family and friends. As a new mother vying for a “starting position” to achieve goals as a wife, mom, nurse, and writer, I’ve gone through another “lanky stage.” I suppose I’m still there.
I watch and cheer on co-workers and friends balance career, committees, leadership positions, family, and themselves. I told myself going part-time would allow me to do the same…take on more responsibility at work, be more active; balance baby, marriage, career, and self. Truth is, I still don’t have it right. I kick the ball away, so to speak. Some days I’m doing good to pull my two shifts a week and make sure my child is still alive and my husband is still around. It can do a number on my confidence the same way being a bench warmer did back in the day. But, I’m thankful to watch co-workers and friends excel! They are amazing team players and serve as role models for that moment when Coach [God] calls me in to play.
I’ve come to appreciate being a bench warmer in this stage of my life. I take a seat to help coach my child, cheer him on as he learns new things and develops new skills. My job as a mom is to enthusiastically encourage him as he shoots and scores in his precious time on the court. It may not be my “time to shine” just yet. And that’s okay. God calls me to warm the bench so I can be his biggest fan.
The same goes for my marriage. I watch my husband excel at new feats and goals God has called him to! He is a starting player on God’s team of service as he pursues worship in church and doing great things with his own music. He’s an excellent dad to boot! Again, I proudly take my seat on the bench and watch with amazement as he surprises himself with his performance in life.
Going through seasons of being a bench warmer is a good thing. What I do remember about riding the bench in basketball gives me reassurance that I’m being prepared for my moment to step on the court and excel as a leader for my family, my job, and community. Our middle school coach would graciously coach us on the sideline as well! It’s one of the things I loved about Coach Sanders. It wasn’t just about the players on the court. He’d encourage us and give coaching tips as we watched our teammates move back and forth. If we got the opportunity to go in, he always cheered us on and put that arm around each of us at the end of the game to reassure that our efforts were valued. He made sure we grew as people and players regardless of playing time.
I know God is doing the same. As I “ride the bench” in this season of life, God shapes me as team player. He nurtures my heart. He gives me opportunities to be on the court and grow. But He teaches me while I wait for that starting position. He values my efforts and encouragement of my family and friends. He dries my tears when I feel like a failure or make a bad pass (decision, action, and so forth.) He molds me and prepares me for the moment to step out in faith and serve in the purpose He calls me to. When that time comes, this bench warmer will be ready to give the performance of a lifetime thanks to His coaching and love.
house of stain 