“Yay!! Good job, buddy!”
“You are such a good helper!”
“Thank you for trying, way to go!”
I find myself saying something along these lines a hundred times a day! Parents are always offering simple phrases of encouragement to their sweet babies. They are learning, they are trying, and they need us to cheer them on to gain confidence for each new adventure or task. Putting on their shoes, brushing their teeth, saying their ABCs, counting to 5… All tasks in which we provide praises, even if we are not quite “there” yet. My little boy is almost two; activities involve baby steps to get him to total self-sufficiency.
G takes a gym class for toddlers and loves it! They have new skills to learn each week. He excels on the bar, but not as much on the balance beam. We still get up on the beam and try every week to walk across without my help. Most days he bobbles a bit or gets distracted and jumps off. Each time, you will hear me clapping frantically and giving high fives for his efforts.
Why? Because the small successes matter. The encouragement matters. He needs confidence that he will be able walk the low beam without mommy and daddy’s help one day. The same goes for the alphabet, brushing his teeth, and saying his prayers. He needs his cheerleader section and a little assistance to encourage him to keep trying with something new or challenging.
It’s easy for us to cheer on our children, family, or friends. But how often are we instilling confidence in ourselves? How often are we shouting “Yay!” or giving ourselves high fives in areas that heed baby steps in growth or progress. One of my biggest struggles has been confidence as a new mom. “I’m horrible at breastfeeding.” “I’m too overbearing.” “I didn’t give him enough affection today”–despite countless hugs and kisses.
It’s just as easy to fill my head with doubts in other areas: my finances, my job as a nurse, my role as a wife, my training as a runner, writing in this blog. There are so many opportunities daily for me to choose confidence and encouragement. Sadly, I find myself doing the opposite.
Even with repurposing a table I previously posted about getting from a cute antique shop: I’ve painted, I resurface. I paint more; I kick myself for not getting it just right. I fill my head with lies about how I’m not as crafty and handy as I thought. Is that motivation to keep doing projects? No. It only makes me want to procrastinate or totally put down things I actually enjoy and make me happy.
We are our own worst critic. The frequent self-critique can leave us empty, unhappy, void of confidence, and unmotivated to keep trying. I will always see room for improvement in my passions and my parenting/marriage roles. However, I’d be much happier and more driven to keep pursuing my calls from God if I replace the phrases of doubt with praises similar to those I speak into my son. How can I teach confidence and motivation if I don’t exude those properties myself?
The truth is, we can never do everything we are called to do all by ourselves. When we feel overwhelmed and bear the weight of not measuring up in our heads, God is there to take care of the rest. So those days that make me feel less than great, I’m reminded that we can do ANYTHING with God in our corner and in our hearts. He wants us to have confidence in things He’s laid on our hearts to do. He longs for us to be happy and know He can help us achieve anything.
My challenge for us all this week is to take one area we know we speak doubt, fear, and negativity to ourselves… Replace those thoughts with truths from God: “I am loved. I am created with God’s power behind me. I am trying, willing, and able.” Be kind and love yourself on days when “trying” is good enough. Instill in your mind that God called you to it, so HE already knows you can achieve it. You just have to believe it, too!
house of stain 