Rooted, Freedom, Flourish, and Shade

It’s Spring! It’s one of my favorite times of year… Minus the pollen! My face looks like the Michelin tire man when I stay outside for too long! It’s not a pretty sight. But, the beautiful blooms outside are well worth the occasional puffy eyes.

This year I’ve committed myself to doing some sort of landscape and having a flower bed. Last Spring we had an 8 month old, and he didn’t last outside for long. Now, all Griffin wants to do is stay outside and help with the yard work!

So, I have no excuse… Except for the fact that I’ve NEVER been able to keep anything [green] alive for long. I did keep a bamboo alive in college for a few years. But you literally have to do nothing to it for it to survive.

This commitment is big for me. I needed some inspiration to keep me diligent on my endeavor of having a green thumb! I, of course, wanted to make a project out of it to add on to the 9,157,477 other projects I need to finish up. Well, I’m half way done! To keep up with the most prominent accent color in our home, I chose Mint Green to paint our new planters. I will finish with a pallet wood planter box! Eeeek! So excited! I will post pictures toward the end of the week. Okay, maybe next week after my sister’s wedding! I went with “Robin’s Egg” from Rust-o-leum to do the trick! I bought 3 clay pots from Home Depot and a vintage paint can from an antique store that will be my hanging planter for the back porch! Here’s a sneak peek! 

Yes, my potting shovel matches the planters I just painted! I’m a tad obsessed with mint green!

The idea of having plants and flowers grow, (and staying committed to keeping them alive) is fascinating and actually really important to me. I’m 0 for 1 so far, this year. We planted tulips around our mailbox that are already dead. I didn’t take into account that they are now out of season and we got hit with a few days of absolute chill that did them in. Lesson learned. At least the bulbs will be ready for next year.

I think I’m so drawn to cultivate my gardening skills, because it’s a reflection of my spiritual life right now. I’ve gone through many seasons of cold and resentment,  with no seeds deeply planted in Christ, no growth, and definitely no blooms of beauty and joy to offer my family and friends.

This season of my life is different. It started when I began attending The Grove via Passion City Church in the Fall! It’s a gathering of women who meet monthly to be poured into, loved on by God, and fellowship with other women who crave that time with Him as well. The mission statement of The Grove is help women “Be rooted in Jesus and His word. To choose to flourish where they are planted. To walk in freedom and truly live. And to offer their lives as shade to people in their path.” Beautiful isn’t it!? The Grove re-ignited my crave for Gods presence in my life. I  NEED Him to be able to grow and flourish, just like flowers need sun and water to grow beautiful blooms. The last several months I’ve planted and rooted seeds in my walk with Christ. I pray and rely on Him in my marriage, in my journey as a mom, in establishing who I am in the new roles I play and hats I wear. Ive watched Him take root in me and give me absolute thirst for His water and light. I want so badly to flourish where I’m currently planted and to use my life as shade/bloom to those around me. I long to serve My Father and glorify Him through all of my endeavors, even with this blog. That desire to grow is not enough. I still face days of reluctance, guilt, and self-doubt. I make choices that do not reflect what God is doing in my heart. Even in the past week I used language and actions that definitely Were not blooms or shade and parallel what God is cultivating in me. But He forgives me and continues to help me grow.

Just like the colorful planters are motivation to keep me commited to my yard and flower beds, I sought help in committing to my relationship with God, as well. Easter Sunday, 12 Stone offered a chance to make a pledge of faith before God and the church. This was open to first time believers, but also life long church goers who commited their life at some point but didn’t really give ALL they had to God. I sat with Griffin in my lap and cried. I felt God pulling on me. I reasoned, “God, I am a Christian. I’ve been saved and baptized.” It doesn’t matter. He was calling me to FULLY commit to Him. I heard Him past my reluctance. I want so badly to offer my life up as service and shade. But I can never do that without fully offering my heart and letting God take over. To truly flourish and serve, I needed to make it past days of stress, frustration, and guilt without wavering in my faith… Without questioning if I’m good enough, or resigning to old habits that are not a reflection of Christ. I stood and passed Griffin to Sam. I walked to that stage and signed that wooden cross to rededicate my life to Christ. I chose to let God take over my entire being before my husband, my child, and the congregation. Create in me a clean heart, Oh God.

I’m planted, rooted in Christ, constantly growing and living in His freedom. Rededicating my life isn’t saying that I was never saved. It’s saying, I was lost and now I’m found. I was planted, but withered in my self-doubt and lack of daily commitment to keep God first. And now, I’m making a covenant to offer Him all parts of me; even places that I am so slow to let go of and forgive myself for.

I’m thankful for God’s intervention in my life over the last two years. I just long to use my story and journey with motherhood, marriage, and writing to be a HUGE bloom in God’s kingdom and in the lives of others. With God’s love and faithfulness, and with mint green pots… May my garden grow (figuratively and literally.)