I let it be known that procrastination has taken over my very being. But this week, after losing Sam’s wallet, I put the pedal to the metal! And do you know what I’ve accomplished? 5 loads of laundry.. Yes, I said 5. We have a tazmanian devil, I mean almost 2 year old living here. I’ve vacuumed, swept multiple times daily, unloaded the dish washer twice, prepared 25 meals (which does include snacks), and made sure one little boy was loved on and enhanced. We have even mastered his alphabet puzzle, read 16 books, and we conquered gym class this morning! I am tired from writing that but there’s more… I have sanded and taken apart close to 30 pallet boards, got two coats of paint on my new end table, and stained a shelf for our dining room. Again, this post is not about tooting my own horn, Beep! Just kidding! ☺️
What is more victorious than all of that God forsaken laundry… Aside from snuggling my sweet baby… Realizing that every “victory” big and small is not just my own. They belong to my husband as well. None of the previously mentioned tasks would’ve been possible without Sam’s help. We are a team. I won’t act like we don’t argue or that we are just the perfect combo ALL of the time. We’re not. But that’s the beauty of it. As newlyweds and new parents, we thought we’d never get the hang of it. And we obviously don’t have it all figured out, or the last post wouldn’t have been written. But my successes as a mom, wife, as a person, runner, and especially with repurposing and writing this blog belong to him, also. You see, we have a balance. Sam is at work until late afternoon. I manage home, Griff, and what chores I can get done until he arrives. Nap time is time to get a start on projects, finish chores, have business calls, and maybe write. Sam comes home and he is on daddy duty. Not because I force him, but because he genuinely wants to spend time with our son. He yearns to hear “dada,” or be the one Griffin is reaching for. And he longs to give me that small frame of time where I can be me. I can dream. I can run, cook dinner, or work on my passions. We tackle dinner and bath time together. We take turns eating because Griff is usually done before we are. One cleans up and the other one bathes our bath-loving boy. We do sing, read, or (ahem) wrestle and I rock Griff to sleep while he is busy picking up toys and getting our home back to a somewhat normal state.
It doesn’t stop with chores or schedules. Our first year of marriage/parenthood was really hard for me. Hence, why this blog project was born. I didn’t know how to tell him that Candace, the real Candace, was swimming somewhere inside oceans of insecurity, lack of grace for myself, and lack of God to shed light on His image of me instead of my own. It’s true when people say the first year of marriage is the hardest. But no one mentions the second. Why? Because it’s beautiful! At least it has been for us. Again, this does not mean that we lack times of disagreement and pure self restraint when contemplating whether to scream at or trip the other person when they aren’t looking. Totally kidding! However, we rebound much quicker. We have learned to forgive. We now comprehend that “sacrifice” is not about losing something, but about what we can give to each other. We have learned to stand in each other’s corner when no one else is in sight. Why? Because he’s my teammate and I love him. He champions me and encourages me when I don’t have the confidence to believe in myself. I’ve learned to show true excitement for his passions and ideas… Not just pretending to when I was overwhelmed with all of the responsibilities as a new mom and wife. We’ve learned to appreciate the small things in each other. And most importantly, we’ve learned to center God first in our marriage. We finally figured out that it has to be ABOUT Him, not just include Him. We have to immerse ourselves in our individual walks with the Lord before we can try to give our two cents on each other’s journey. We’ve learned the art of praying for our spouse… Not just when we are frustrated with them or praying dutifully because we should. We genuinely want to see each other’s relationship flourish and see how we can encourage the other’s next calling from God. Have you ever felt called to do something but didn’t have the support of your spouse? It’s utterly painful. Why? Because God created us to share our lives with our soul mate. We are to be intertwined. His loss is my loss. My success is his success. Our lives wouldn’t be the same or even matter without the other one. He is the first to share my words and the first to push me to offer more. He claps for my accomplishments and gives a “well done,” when I’ve overcome another day of losing sight of who God created me to be. His praises my parenting, even on days when I’m a big flop! But more importantly, like any real teammate should… He challenges me to aim for better outcomes, to improve my effectiveness, and to dream of a win (whatever form that it comes in).
So this week, despite my faults in our family’s journey for peace and harmony, he praised me When I was far from batting a thousand. Because that’s what we are called to do for the Lord as well. However we should strengthen our relationship with God, is how we should fight to improve our marriage… With God as our focus, his success for mine, and together as a team.
house of stain 