I have been taking apart pallets for the last couple of weeks to work on some furniture pieces. I realized that I may have a few pieces left over to get Griffin’s reading nook going in his play room. So I, of course went to http://www.pinterest.com to search for inspiration and found this sign, which I love!
I’m a huge Dr. Seuss fan and we’ve been adding to Griff’s collection of Dr. Seuss books since before he was born! While I, sometimes think Dr. Seuss might have been a little high when he wrote a few of his publications, I love that he is known for language development from the rhyming words AND the life lessons kids can take from each book. While in search of ideas, I ran across another Dr. Seuss quote that totally threw a sucker punch to my pride this week.
We have a lot going on with taking an Advocare business trip this week, still getting Griff fully back to his normal self, and Sam’s fundraiser that he and a friend planned from the ground up. Which, I am SO PROUD of him for!!! He’s playing Saturday at “Rock for a Reason,” to raise money for Pediatric Cancer Research and funding that will go to my precious Aflac babies. Having that event AND going out of town in the same week is a lot. I also get very jiggy (I know that’s not a word, but whatever) anytime we go out of town without Griffin. I go into Mama panic mode and worry about worst case scenario. My anxieties over trips without him usually start a couple of weeks in advance. I try to hide that I am in crazy mom mode, so that anxiety usually manifests itself in some other form. Hence, I usually end up being a poor example of a Christian woman for a reason that has nothing to do with what’s actually going on with me. I used to pride myself on being super laid back and “go with the flow.” Somewhere between pregnancy, marriage, and just plain adulthood, that care free Candace has disappeared. I’m a worry wort and it usually happens when I feel loss of control. It’s not that I have to have control over everything, it’s just that I’m very stubborn when it comes to accepting that there’s things I can’t change. Even with relationships, when I’m in Panic Mommy mode, I get sensitive when I have a best laid plan in my head that may not match up with a friend, parent, and especially my spouse. It’s NOT easy for me to admit this. It goes with being stubborn, I suppose. But I get so overwhelmed with things not matching up with what I have planned, knowing that I can’t change the circumstances, that I don’t represent a very Christ-like image.
So what does that have to do with Dr. Seuss’s blow to my ego? I read that quote and stopped in my tracks. There I was being sensitive and hard to live with (to say the least) because I was so wound up in my own anxieties, opinions, and fears that I forgot to care (and I mean deeply care) for the people I love most. I took the “wounded bird” approach about all the circumstances and opinions that didn’t match with what I invisioned, and let that navigate my response when I felt that control slip away. In reality, I can’t change the fact that we will be away from Griffin for two days. I can’t change that myself and loved ones won’t ALWAYS agree and have the same plan in our head for what’s happening in our lives. But neglecting to deeply care about other people despite a different plan or opinion will NOT make things better. In fact, it makes them worse. And while God is willing to pick up the pieces, He would prefer that we focus on letting Him be in control and loving on others. God will take care of us while we are gone. And He will certainly take care of Griffin. He has a plan for our lives and our home that may not always match up with what we want or or carefully plan out. But I guarantee that He is ten times more likely to bless us if we take time to care about others and put our faith in His love and guidance. I even saw that parallel from the pallet wood I took apart. I planned on and attempted to pull the boards apart with a hammer and crow bar: quick and easy. Nope. My wood kept splitting. So, I finally prayed for GOD’S solution, not my own. Turns out sawing the wood apart, then removing the nail was much easier and MUCH faster. See, my best laid plans didn’t hold a candle to God’s. Our departure today is still unnerving for this anxious mama. But instead of letting my loss of control dictate how I treat others… I think I’ll thank God for HIS vision, HIS protection, and HIS forgiveness. I love the idea of being a “Proverbs 31 woman,” because it speaks to my heart about serving God, loving others, and having faith in what God can do. So, I’m going spend the next couple of days focusing on how I can care for the people I love most.
house of stain 